July Yummy Mummy
The Yummy mummy section this month features Bukola Adediwin, a mother and Ceo of Buks House Of Fashion.
The Yummy mummy section is about the modern mum who is raising children and also about her life shattering glass ceilings!
Here is our Beautiful Beginnings July 2017 Yummy Mummy – Bukola Adediwin
Q. Please give us a brief introduction about yourself; Your name, who you are, what you do?
A. My name is Bukola Adediwin. I have been successful at raising a family and I attribute the success to God. And I am married to a wonderful man.? I am the Ceo of Buks House Of Fashion. We take African prints to the next level (IG: @bukshouseoffashion). I am a determined person. God pleaser and not men pleaser.
Q. How many children do you have?
A. I have three beautiful girls. I love them selflessly.
Q. We would like you to tell us in your own words what your motherhood journey has been like so far.
A. lol. Uhmmmm
Reflecting back on the last 5 years, I’ve determined that motherhood is definitely a journey not a destination.
I always thought becoming a mother would fulfill me or make me feel complete as a person. Instead of completing me, it gave me a new sense of direction and challenged me to see the world in a new way.
It has made me stronger, more capable and made a believer out of me..the list is endless.
My second daughter was born the year 2011. In 2013, she was diagnosed and was termed “a special needs child”. The doctor explained what it was, I was numb and went into denial. I started to figure out where I’d gone wrong. Did I make a mistake? Denial and then guilt. The tears didn’t come then, I just couldn’t believe the unwelcome information. It was some consolation that my hubby didn’t go into depression like i did. He assured me that we will do the best we can for our little Angel.
It really hurts seeing children younger than my little Angel achieve their developmental milestones with ease and much earlier than her. She couldn’t sit, walk, talk, do things by herself. Oh I remember the day she first called me mum.
Friends left me because my motherhood journey changed, and I don’t blame them, they just did not have the knowledge of what it is to raise a special needs child. People called me a snob not knowing it was a way of covering up…to the next question please?. I can go on and on.
Q.What motivates you? What gives you the strength?
A. People will discriminate, talk out of ignorance, give all forms of advice but what gives me strength is God and then the everyday miracles. Every milestone means alot to me which is a norm to a regular parent. And that motivates me alot, knowing that she is different not less and that she will get there “someday”?
Her love motivates me, her eyes give me strength. The fact that I’m trusted with this beautiful soul and being and that I am the one she looks up to for everything, I am the eyes she sees the world with, I am her listening ear, her reflex…I cannot but be motivated!
She has also motivated me to be a good writer ?
Q: What insight (based on your experiences) can you give super moms like yourself for when they get weary?
Firstly, talk to God, his understanding knows no bound, draw your strength from him. When you become tired or weary he knows when you don’t know what to do. He can bring peace and calm even amidst your child’s meltdown….Dont let me be too spiritual ?
You are not alone..talk to people with related experience. I have met people over the years and it has helped me. Hang out with them more.
Know that you are a superwoman…you manage situations that a regular parent would think is impossible.
Q. What are the challenges you face in Nigeria especially with raising a special needs child? And how in your opinion can it be better with regards to infrastructure, awareness, support systems etc?
A. One of the major challenge is discrimination. Then no access to professional services and acute shortage of special educators.
And in Nigeria of today, Nigerians with disabilities continue to face social problems, they are perceived to be suffering from “spiritual attacks” and also a financial burden because the good special educators around…charge a whole lot.
All of these can be better by letting the awareness start from ‘you’. We should teach people around us that have little or no knowledge about special needs.
Government should raise an awareness too and also provide social services for special needs children because not everybody can afford to pay for the services privately.
Q. Of course we have to ask, how do you make all these work and still look this good? Wife, Mum, your Business.. Everything!
A. We are super mums but we have to understand that we are not perfect. First thing first, I will never take out the word GRACE. It has been God.
I have my down moments but I don’t allow it weigh me down. It is a conscious effort and i also do not draw people down to sympathising with me and I must confess it is a phase that I have had to pass to get to this level. So I’m hoping that yummy mummies with related cases will get to this phase faster than I did.
And as for business, i have been able to work with what is flexible for me and at the same time take care of the homefront with the help of my mum who has worked with adults with special needs ( it is very important we relate with people in the same shoes as we are)
Q. What do you miss most about you pre Mum days?
A. Let me just get this out of the way first. I love being a mother.
What I miss most about my previous Mum days is “my alone” time!
Q. What do you know now you wish someone had told you before you had children?
A. That there are children with “special needs”
Q. Any fitness tips?
A. Trust me, the last time I worked out was last year July. Yes, I remember vividly. And then I decided to worry less…we can’t just change somethings…we can only try? My children and business are enough exercises for me .
I would like to add that we parents are the greatest therapists and with love…our angels can get ‘there’. They say “love conquers all things”. Please i am open to any form of advice and i am available to give too.